Russell Westbrook Gets Taunted By Mitt Romney: Will Never Dunk Again
Oklahoma City Thunder star Russell Westbrook picked up four fouls during the first half of Monday's playoff game against the Utah Jazz, and former presidential nominee Mitt Romney was courtside at Vivint Smart Home Arena to remind him.
Full story here.
Russell Westbrook is a polarizing individual, there’s no way around it. Some people love him and think he’s consistent choice for MVP, and others think he’s a ball hog who pushes away or otherwise hinders talent. Whichever camp you fall in, you’ve got to feel for a guy who gets heckled by Mitt Romney. I mean that is a worst nightmare. You’ve got to imagine Russ went to the bench and was just like, “Fuck I can’t believe Mitt Romney is talking shit to me.” It’s also tough because, like, you can kick Drake’s ass. That’s allowed. You touch Mitt Romney and you get teleported to a CIA black site getting drowned for 24 hours a day.
Also, this is frustrating because it’s the dumbest trash talk in the world. You’re just stating facts, Mitt. You’re just saying he has four fouls. Fucking shit, Mitt, we know he has four fouls. Everybody knows. We’ve all been keeping track. At least come up with something original! Mitt Romney is the guy who shows up to watch the game with you and your buddies, talks himself up about how he’s unaffiliated with either team, keeps his mouth shut the entire game, and then suddenly in the fourth quarter is wearing a jersey, has a painted face, and is talking the dumbest trash about your team you’ve ever heard.
You may not know that guy, but I do. Turns out if you’re a Bears fan and watched a game with any of your friends when Jay Cutler was starting, ever, you ended up on the wrong side of that smoking gun. It’s the trash talk of a bandwagon fan. C’mon Mitt, just because you love Utah City and mormonism doesn’t make you a die hard Jazz fan. Just look at his jersey! One size too big and good as new. I bet you a million dollars he purchased that within 72 hours of the game.
That’s got to be one of the worst things about being a professional athlete. You just get these people from out of NOWHERE who show up to games and are suddenly talking shit to you. You expect it from other players. You expect it from Drake. Fuck, you especially expect it fro the fans. But Mitt Romney? Fuckin’ schmeeb-ass binder full of women Mitt Romney? Please! If he’s coming out of the woodwork, who else is on the way? If you’re a pro athlete, you don’t know where the next attack is going to come from! How are you supposed to prepare for this?
I think the only way to deal with things like this as a professional athlete is you’ve got to get organized. I think just like Mitt Romney has a binder full of women, you should have a binder full of teams with obnoxious famous fans. That’s information you have to track. It can be tough in the NBA to motivate yourself for games because the season is so long, and you’re playing the same guys, often your buddies, over and over again. You know what’s not hard to motivate for? Not getting trash talked to you by Mitt Romney or any other of the Biggest Losers On The Planet Club. At that point you’re not really playing to beat the team, you’re playing to beat the fans. You drop one to Bill Murray, Drake, or even Spike and that’s okay. It’s not great, but you’ll live. That's not the case with Mitt.
Watch out for Russell Westbrook's career to plummet after this. We all had our own theories: the pressure of delivering for OKC would be too much, his knees would go, or Steven Adams would grow careless with his size 20 feet and crush him under the sole of his shoe; but none of us ever expected that the beginning of Russel's downfall would be Mitt Romney holding up four fingers and stating the obvious, "That's four."
