Guy Cleans Fish Tank: Releases Second Deadliest Toxin On Earth, Related: The World Is A Fucking Death Trap

A man has revealed how coral in a fish tank poisoned him and other family members while he was cleaning it.

Chris Matthews, 27, was taken to hospital along with his girlfriend, mum, dad, sister and her boyfriend, and four firefighters after they breathed in toxic fumes. 

Experienced fish owner Chris was cleaning out a tank and moving the contents to another container when the accident happened.

In the process he took out a rock covered in coral and scraped it clean – inadvertently releasing a deadly substance, palytoxin, into the atmosphere. He then closed the door and went to sleep.

The following day the entire family suffered flu-like symptoms, and even their two dogs became ill.

Full story here.

I know I make this claim often, but the world is trying to kill us and we are no longer safe here. I make this claim all the time, and everybody ignores me; meanwhile people are innocently scrubbing their fishtanks and releasing deadly toxins into the air. This is so far past the point of zero; as far as I'm concerned the doomsday clock is at 12:05.

Given this is not a problem I’d ever have, I’m not a big “clean the fish tank” guy- that’s just not me. When my hypothetical fish tank gets moldy, I’m throwing it out and if I’m feeling generous then I’ll keep the fish.

I’m writing this for the rest of you. I’m writing this for you who think that having a fish is still safe. You’ve read all about dog mailings, you’ve read about bee stings, you’ve read about cats running people over with their own cars, and you’ve settled on a fish as being the last pet that won’t kill you. You’re wrong.

Sure sure, the haters will claim that it was a piece of coral that released these toxins, but all of you environmental folks have spent the last decade trying to convince me that coral is a living being; and I don’t have the emotional maturity or intelligence to separate the ‘innocent’ fish from the ‘poisonous’ decoration I put in it’s glass cage to keep it from offing itself. 

Hey NASA, no pressure, but we need off this planet STAT.