We've Got A Public Deer Birth! Happy Day!
WARREN COUNTY, New Jersey — A New Jersey police officer saved a fawn by performing an emergency C-section on the baby deer's mother after she was hit by a car.
Robert Lagonera, a Washington Township animal control officer, says he got a call early Friday morning that a deer had been struck and killed. The doe was pregnant with twins, and though one of the fawns died in the accident, another was still moving inside of the mother.
"When I arrived on the scene, Officer Vernon has already performed the C-section," Lagonera told PIX11 News. "He's sitting there holding a kind of bloody but living fawn and I just said, 'Jimmy, have you ever done that before?' And he said, 'nope!'"
Full story here.
Wow! Just wow! I don’t know what has to go through someone’s mind to get them to the point where their inner voice says, “you are capable of giving a deer a c-section.” and I hope I never know. I admire this cop. I cannot think of any circumstance in which I would do the same thing, but I admire the fact that he’s a far better cop than I am. If I see a dead deer on the road, and something is moving in its stomach, I’m getting the fuck out of dodge. I’ve seen way more Alien movies than deer childbirths and so my image association is all fucked up.
I cannot stretch my elastic imagination wide enough to picture this in any reality. How do you expect me to help even a normal person give birth? I have a substandard knowledge of the female vagina and a fear of placenta, but it pales in comparison to my substandard knowledge of the deer vagina and fear of getting a deer hoof through my brain. I also don't want to be the guy to break it! Call me a coward but it's better to be a bystander than have this be my fault!
I guess it does help that the deer was dead. There’s a lot less pressure when the deer is dead. I’m just as sad as you are that Bambi’s mom is dead, all I’m saying is that I don’t know all that much about animals, but seems like there’s a whole lot less to fuck up with a dead deer than a live one. If you see a live deer giving birth, I don’t know who the fuck who you have to be to look at that and not think, “that will sort itself out.” Takes a special kind of person (I’m not sure how I mean special) to look at a situation like that and want to step in. That’s not me. What’s the equivalent here? Like a big ape finding my future wife in need of a c-section and giving it a shot? No, thank you! Get away from my pregnant wife, ape! If my future wife is dead, that’s a whole other story. In that case, have at it! Get that baby out of there! I’ll hand you the fucking scalpel if you want. You and I can raise that goddamn kid together, but until otherwise instructed you keep your hands off my live-wife and worry about your own species.
I'm sorry, I lsot myself in rant-world. We're celebrating! This is insane and I would never do it and I would definitely have let all of these deer die, but we're celebrating!
