Can You Fight Lava? — Here's A Blog Are You Happy Now?

Pahoa, Hawaii (CNN)"You might want to step back," said Darryl Clinton as yet another explosion boomed nearby.

He seemed to know exactly what that sound meant. A fissure that violently cracked open the earth's surface was spewing more lava and, possibly, more lava bombs -- flying chunks of molten rock.

Armed with just a fire extinguisher and a garden hose, Clinton has been defending the homes that belong to friends.

A day later, Clinton fell victim himself -- distracted by his cell phone for mere moments, when a bowling ball-sized lava bomb hit him in the leg while he was standing on the porch.

Full story here.

So obviously we’ve been hearing these insane stories out of Hawaii for the past few weeks. Lava overtaking land, cars, homes, even the goddamn Pacific ocean; it’s truly humbling to see one seemingly random act of nature take such a toll on so many.

Recently though, I’ve been seeing a lot more stories about people defending their homes from lava. This raised the question in my brain, can one defend anything from lava? We discussed on the podcast a few weeks ago that I was a bee-beta, while Nick was a bee-alpha. Basically I’m afraid to defend myself against the bee, the bee always wins, while Nick outmuscles the bees right and left. Well, in those same terms, everybody’s a lava beta.

People are AFRAID that the lava has reached the Pacific Ocean: the Pacific Ocean is a lava beta! Not only is lava… hot…. but it’s now launching “lava bombs” - which sounds too powerful to be a thing. Lava launches bombs and it’s always effective. Lava killed JFK. Ted Williams batted 0.0 against lava. Lava wins every time! I understand people want to defend their homes, but what impact can you have?

The schmucks in Volcano barely stopped the lava flow and they had all the fire trucks in LA! Pardon me if I don’t think your garden hose is going to cut it! Especially not when this thing is lobbing femur shattering fire-rock bombs at you. If there’s one thing I know about being a coward, it’s that you’ve got to pick your battles.