Addressing The Naked Gardener In Florida: An Analysis Of Society's Trends And A Rethinking Of Traditional Child-Rearing
STUART, Fla. (AP) — Being in touch with nature is one thing. But gardening au naturel is quite another for some neighbors of a Florida man who’s been doing yard work in the nude.
The miffed residents tell news outlets they’ve called the Martin County Sheriff’s Office, but the man continues to do yard work naked.
Sheriff William Snyder tells WFTV he believes the man’s refusal to wear clothes has breached two statutes: lewd and lascivious behavior and breach of peace. He says authorities will begin taking statements from neighbors.
Full story here.
Look, I typically side against overprotective parents who, in my opinion, are being too aggressive in shielding their children from the way of the world. How is the kid who you shield from the streaker going to be able to cope with a dude jerking off outside the 72nd street station? In many ways, this story should be the exception to the rule. Walking around naked inside your own home is one thing, going to get your mail naked is one thing, but we’d be foolish to pretend otherwise, gardening naked is something else.
Gardening naked, at first glance, is not for communities. Forget risks that the gardener assumes when disrobing and tripping the hedges (thorns, bees, dirt, direct sunlight) the bending over aspect of the activity complicates this conversation. That being said: while on one hand my kid’s already going to have enough trouble on his plate without getting a full look at Mr. Roy’s secret tunnel while he trims the petunias, on the other hand, when’s my kid going to toughen up? If your kid can’t handle an unbleached butthole, then tell your kids to mind their damn business. You want to go snooping on someone else’s property? Then you’re going to get an eyeful of asshole.
That’s just the way of the world these days. And I can’t think of a better way to introduce your child into the society of butt-stuff is cool then to tell your kids to either handle it or look the other way. What kind of hypocrite tells their own children to be proud of their body’s but ashamed of someone else smh (shaking my head). As cohost Nick and I recently covered in the absurdly popular “Here’s A Podcast Are You Happy Now?” ass-play is here, people. It’s in. It’s trendy. It’s not just hip, it’s here to stay. With that in mind we should be getting our kids as comfortable as they can with assholes at an early age. How is your kid supposed to be comfortable being an equally giving and receiving part of a consensual, intimate relationship in 2036 if they’re taught to look away when Mr. Roy shows his netherworld? They’re not. Either teach your kid how to look at a butthole or teach them how to coexist with thirty cats.
