Man Being Fined For Defending His Food Against Seagull Is Injustice At Its Worst
HAMPTON, N.H. (AP) — A man accused of kicking a seagull that tried to eat his cheeseburger at a New Hampshire beach has been fined $124.
Police investigated the report from a bystander at Hampton Beach earlier this summer.
NH1 reports the man Nate Rancloes, said he had just returned from getting a cheeseburger and fries and was sitting on the sand. He said seagulls got to the burger, and he spun around with his leg to shoo one away, but struck the bird. He said it was a simple mistake.
A witness said it appeared the bird’s leg was injured and that it struggled to fly away.
New Hampshire Fish and Game Lt. Adam Cheeney says seagulls are protected under federal law.
Full story here.
This is not justice. I don’t know what world you live in if you think this guy wasn’t within his rights to deliver a swift kick to this thieving seagull’s ass. Was this beach a bird sanctuary? A national park? No it wasn’t, it was a fucking beach where fucking families go to find a semblance of tranquility on this topsy turvy roller coaster we call life. Are seagulls an endangered species? Are they misunderstood creatures? Absolutely not. Seagulls are vicious sea pirates that prey on the careless and young. Ever seen this video?
These gulls are out for blood. This kid’s marked for life, as good as dead. So what, a seagull’s allowed to go for my food and I’m not allowed to defend it? Fuck that. Seagull goes for my food it better be ready to get dropped. I’ll throw hands over my sand-covered bbq chips and dry turkey sub Monday through Sunday. I don’t even care so much about the food, this is about pride. This is about showing that I can’t be pushed around. This is nature.
A few years back my friends and I took a trip to Ocean City, NJ: dry town, wet weekend if you know what I mean. We posted up on the beach for a while, set up home base, dug some holes, you know- a typical guys weekend at the beach. Well one sorry sucker dropped some chips by our beach chairs and thirty seconds later this place was a goddamn feeding frenzy. Gulls fighting each other to get a taste of the scraps. Treating our beach chairs like the ol’ Battle of the Bastards. Staining the sandy beaches of Ocean City with gull blood, cheeto powder, sunscreen, and spilled V8. You’ve got to treat the beach like it’s prison: find the biggest sea gull you can and stick a sharpened toothbrush right into his (or her!) ribs.
