Hot Take: Having a Puppy is Harder Than Having a Baby
I know there’s a lot that goes into both of these, and I’ll save the full analysis for the podcast this weekend; regardless, I want to blog this to make it clear that it’s on my mind. This is a question I’m pondering.
Now we’ll spare the deep dive until the podcast, but what’s on my mind right now is the effort it takes to just chaperone one of these things. See, the dog is smart enough to get itself into trouble. It’s got just enough knowledge and athleticism to put itself in a position where it can get seriously hurt. A baby does not. A baby has 0 speed, 0 awareness, 0 impact blocking. With a baby you just make sure it’s on its back, make sure it doesn’t end up on any high places. With a baby, YOU just can’t be stupid. Don’t put the baby alone in a bath tub. Don’t put the baby on the counter. Don’t put the baby in the fridge. Don’t cover the baby in peanut butter and leave outside. Easy. Done. I’d be an amazing dad.
With a puppy you’re actively battling something which seeks to ruin your life. He’s got eyes for only one thing, and that’s chaos. This dog is either sleeping or destroying. Sometimes we get a 5 minute respite where the dog is merely seeking something to destroy. The only reason I can even write this blog is because I let him have the corner chair. I gave up on the corner chair a long time ago. It’s done. It never had a chance. It’s kaput. The second the puppy laid eyes on that thing it was basically chow. So that’s the sacrifice I made for this 500 word piece, I wonder what I’ll have to sacrifice next. Could be a stool, could be my foot. He’s teething, you see. So he’s learning through biting things. He’s getting very familiar with my body. He’s either going to be a very learned dog, or a dog that bites. It’s honestly up in the air at this point. 50-50.
Tune into the pod this weekend for the full dive into how much harder it is to have a puppy than a baby: we’ll hit pooping, sleep schedules, downsides, upsides, and maybe a couple interviews with new fathers who will definitely agree with me.
Nature’s Miracle was used during the writing of this blog.
If you’re selling a chair that would do well in a corner, hit me up. I’m in the market.
