Science Reverses Course On Red Wine Being Good For You: Essentially Killing Me
A new study found that drinking the equivalent of a small glass of wine or beer a day was linked to an increased risk of heart problems down the line.
The large study on alcohol consumption and atrial fibrillation found that people who consumed one drink a day on average were 16% more likely than those who did not drink to develop the condition, which is characterized by an irregular heartbeat.
Those who develop atrial fibrillation have a higher risk of strokes and heart failure.
full story here.
I ended 2020 with a strong brand of ‘Man Who’s Been Pushed To His Limit’ and if scientists keep this up we’ll maintain that right through 2021 without a problem. I can’t count how many times I see Big Science decide that something kind of scandalous has a hidden health benefit before inevitably reversing course. They did it with dark chocolate. They did it with coffee. They’ve done it with olive oil. And now they’ve done it with wine.
Of all the habits I’ve picked up since March 15th of 2020, I’d say the least hate-able is that I have a glass of wine every night. There’s not much a self-loathing diabetic with pepperoni nipples and a subconscious allergy to weed can do to promote his health other than take vitamin D when he remembers to approximately 3 days a year and hammer a cheap glass of Malbec every night. Promotes a strong heart you say? Perfect, I have a famously weak heart. Neither my aorta nor my courage have the fortitude required of them. A pack of cigarettes would be as deadly to me as a cruel, spurning word from a lover, and vice versa. So when science tells me that drinking a small cup of the red stuff with my 97 day streak of pork chops and sweet potatoes for dinner, I listen.
But now they reverse course! Now the one glass of satan’s breast milk raises my risk of irregular heartbeat by 16%! Well, snip snap snip snap! Which is it, Science? Am I saving or offing myself! You gotta make up your damn mind because those of us who are making lifestyle choice based on our reading of Yahoo News have a lot at stake here! What’s the point of publishing any of these studies if you’re just going to unpublish them a year later! Isn’t there a a more valuable use for your time than just changing your mind over and over again? There are individuals out there who can have their hearts skipping beats. I’m not one of them. My heart barely has enough beats as it is. My heart skips a beat when the cashier remembers me at the grocery store, and that’s without 4 months of red wine fucking the system up.
This is the problem with self-improvement. It always starts fine! But then you get cocky, you start feeling yourself, and suddenly you get one thing mixed up and you have a heart that can’t walk in a straight line. I could have stayed at zero! Just let my heart age the normal way. Accept whenever it was that my clock was going to run out. But no, I tried to better myself. I flew too close to the sun. I misread the instructions and now God knows how long I have left. First the ikea dresser, next the tv console, and now my ticker- these fucking instructions are going to be the death of me.
