Heroic Fellow Tries To Kill Spider With Blowtorch And Sets Apartment Ablaze
Nothing to see here. This is just a guy doing what any other sane person would do to rid his house of a dangerous threat. You know what a wolf spider is? Here you go:
If you see one of these motherfuckers you don’t go looking for a magazine, you find the blow torch, or the shotgun, or the ninja sword, or the bazooka. You don’t try to kill this thing unless you know you’re going to kill it. I don’t know much about insects, but I do know that they hold a grudge, you aim for the king you best not miss. This is not a finesse game. I woke up the other morning to find a cockroach in my bed. That shook me to my core. If it hadn’t been 3AM, I would have set my bed on fire in an instant. Honestly, I love my roommates, but fuck them, fuck their possessions, fuck everything, I’d set it all on fire in a second.
I refuse to make fun of this guy because it just as easily could have been me. It could have been any of us. If there’s ever been a reason to turn your living space into an inferno, it’s to kill a scary spider.
P.S. The craziest thing about my mild case of arachnophobia is that I didn’t have it until I watched the movie Arachnophobia. The movie Arachnophobia gave me arachnophobia, I guess that makes sense.
